1 wish makes 2 happiness

I wish I could be more mature.
I wish I could be less selfish.
I wish I could be more independent.
I wish I could be less unthoughtful.

As I worked, I realised how much time is lost in doing things we HAVE to do.
I only really have like 2 or 1.5 days in a week to enjoy myself.
I hate to do anything else except being at home on Sunday. I dont see why and how I should change that?
I just feel very indignant when I have to forfeit the day I thought I could enjoy or be happy.
And I thought in my life, I forfeited alot of things so I could do better and make others feel better/happy.

Thus that makes one selfish gal for Jason.
Honestly I do wish I could be more thoughtful for him.
What he told me was right and I shouldn't forfeit what he wants to make me happier.
Maybe I should be even more independent.

But hasnt it been tiring and suffocating enough for me?
I am being the brain, the mature one, the sensible one, the independent one, the one that's carrying the burden, the one that can take over anyone's duties, the one that can talks and can be looked upon to etc.
And I always took Jason as someone whom I can be the gal inside. I dont care how silly or childish I am with him cos' I can be someone who doesnt needs to be strong.

I dunno lah.
I am quite tired to try proving the world how I feel.
Yet I know how I feel shouldnt change a thing about anyone's right.
I shouldnt be selfish.

I am just upset like worse if you tell me not to.

Nothing's can change if it was meant to be like that.

Oh well...just gotta get used to it and don't blame us should things change.

*It's not hard to fall when you float like a cannonball*